Weddedness.com

Nothing wrong with flannels, right? (Photo from Flickr, erix!)

My grandma had a favorite nightgown. She’d worn it for years, and it looked like it. Perhaps it was faded, and a bit threadbare in a spot or two. Knowing my grandma, she’d have fixed a slipped hem, or maybe even darned a hole. Regardless, the nightgown had seen better days. And my grandpa didn’t hesitate to tell her so. Several times.

One day grandma went to take a shower. She hung the beloved nightgown on a hook in the bathroom, and stepped into the shower. When it came time to towel off, the nightgown wasn’t there. At first she thought she mis-remembered taking it to the bathroom. It must still be in the bedroom, waiting, folded, under her pillow or in the top drawer of her dresser. But no, it wasn’t there either. Stumped, she found something else to wear and went on with her evening.

An hour or so later she went to toss something in the trashcan, and there was the nightgown, carefully shredded so as to never be worn again.

Now you could look at this story a few ways. You could see Grandpa as a villain: robbing his lovely wife of her favorite, comfortable nightgown. Or you could see my grandpa as a man who – after decades of marriage – still loved his wife enough to want her to come to bed in something attractive. I’m going to opt for this positive spin on things.

The morning after my grandmother told me this story, I took a hard look at the t-shirt I’ve been sleeping in for the last year. The one with the big hole in the arm pit, and the faded charity bike ride logo on the back. I grimaced a little, but I tossed it in the trashcan. (Of course I replaced it with another, hole-free t-shirt from another year’s charity bike ride … baby steps.)

Just the same, we could all use the reminder to come to bed like we still care about being attractive for our partner. A year or so ago I quoted this reminder from another blogger, The Generous Wife.

“Time for an underwear check: Yup. Go through your undies drawer and remove anything worn, ugly or that doesn’t fit. Replace with pretties.”