Archive for January, 2011

January: the Month in Review

Posted in Research on January 31, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

Do you ever feel like you get whiplash from all the well-intended research that comes your way? (Example: Coffee is good for you – no, wait, it’s bad. Take more Vitamin D as it will probably prevent cancer – or wait, maybe not.) Marriage research can be much the same way: never go to bed more »

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The Upside of Having Kids

Posted in Parenting on January 30, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

“Kids kill a marriage.” “Our relationship fell apart after the kids were born.” “Nothing drains the romance from a relationship like a baby.” We’ve all heard – or perhaps thought – these things. Kids add an intense, constant, sleep-deprived strain to relationships. Any fractures that were already there will quickly become evident. New ones – more »

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How Facebook Gets Marriage Wrong

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged on January 29, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

Take a look at your friends Facebook photo albums: see any unhappy marriages there? Probably not. Now think about what you know of their relationships, or, even more simply, the national divorce statistics. Does Facebook present a realistic portrait of marriage and family? Of course not: on Facebook everyone looks good, standing next to your more »

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Marriage Crutches

Posted in Communication, Fighting on January 26, 2011 | 1 Comment »

When we were expecting our first child, Cliff and I agreed that we’d try not to use pacifiers. Like most expectant parents, we’d done a good deal of reading – and some of the most persuasive literature said that pacifiers were crutches. Teach your kid that they need the pacifier to sleep, and they’ll be more »

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Does a Skinny Wife = a Happy Marriage?

Posted in Happiness on January 17, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

A news article from over the weekend caught my attention – University of Tennessee researchers just released a study that shows marriages are more likely to be happy when the wife is skinnier than the husband. Perhaps there’s some evolutionary reason for this. Regardless, I find the shallowness of the finding to be disappointing. And more »

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Sustainable Marriage

Posted in Uncategorized on January 13, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

In my day job, I think a lot about what makes business sustainable – in other words, how does a company set itself up for success not just in the short term, but over the long term as well. In business this means everything from reducing your environmental impact to charting steady (though not always more »

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This Flash Mob is My Love Letter to You

Posted in Books & Culture on January 8, 2011 | 1 Comment »

If you’re not already a fan of Modern Family, this clip may convince you. I love it for its humor, but also for its true-to-life reflection of relationships. We show our love in the most unusual of ways, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. In this clip, buttoned-to-the-top Mitchell surprises his exuberant partner Cameron more »

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Cliff, Claire & Klosterman, On Marriage:

Posted in Uncategorized on January 7, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

“In the nineteenth century, teenagers merely aspired to have a marriage that would be better than that of their parents; personally, I would never be satisfied unless my marriage was as good as Cliff and Claire Huxtable’s (or at least as enigmatic as Jack and Meg White’s.)” – Chuck Klosterman, from the essay This is more »

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Everything I Needed to Know About Marriage, I learned from ELLE Magazine

Posted in Divorce, Happiness, tagged on January 6, 2011 | 1 Comment »

Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But this article is the best thing I’ve read about marriage in a long time. And the author provides a compelling, and secular, answer to the question, “Why marry, and why stay married?” Till ­Whatever Do Us Part Has America become too blasé about divorce? Rachael Combe considers the meaning of more »

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Enough with the Silly Love Songs

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

Around the time we got engaged, we attended a marriage enrichment course others had recommended. There were hundreds of couples in the room – some of whom and been married for decades, others who (like us) were just taking that step. On the last night of the course, in what was clearly supposed to be more »

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